A'Camping We Will Go
by Klyntaliah
Summary: The Avengers' camping trip goes horribly wrong. Post-Avengers. Mostly Romanogers based, but also contains Pepperony and hints of Clintasha. Steve!Whump and Tony!Whump. T for mild language and violence. "Anyone want to change their answer about whether or not they're enjoying the trip?"
1. Chapter 1: Tony's Plan

**Thanks for all your support, guys! More chapters coming soon on this one, when I find the time to write them. :) Please review!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.**

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"Hey, Tony, it's getting late," Steve Rogers said. "Are we ordering pizza tonight, or what?"

It was six o' clock p.m. The Avengers and Tony Stark's girlfriend, Pepper Potts, were hanging out in the Stark Tower, or, the Avengers Tower, as it was now called. Thor Odinson was on a short visit from Asgard, so they were chatting it up in the main room; Thor bringing them up to date on the activities in Asgard and the others updating him on their doings in his absence.

"Actually, I had something else planned tonight," Tony said. "Something special in honor of Thor's visit."

"Please tell me you're not making us eat escargots à la bourguignonne again," Natasha said.

"What! I thought you liked the escargots à la bourguignonne!"

"I think "liked" is pushing it a little… I mean I did manage to not barf it up… _barely…"_

"Anyway," Tony went on, "What I have planned for the night is not so much a meal as an activity."

"I am ready for any activity, Stark, but I must say I hope you do not intend to take us bowling again," Thor said. "I do not think we would be well-received after what happened last time."

"We don't talk about that, Thor," Pepper said quickly. Tony just shrugged.

"I freely admit, using Mjolnir as a bowling pin wasn't one of Barton's best ideas, but I can't say it wasn't original," he said, raising his glass of wine towards Clint in salute.

 _"My_ idea!" Clint exclaimed. "Give me a break, Stark, you were the one who-"

"As I was saying," Tony continued, talking over him, "You're all wrong. We are not going bowling and we are not getting escargots à la bourguignonne, although, personally, I kinda liked the stuff. Right up there with shawarma." He paused. The others were looking expectantly at him.

Tony cleared his throat. "What I have planned," he said, "is a camping trip."

"A camping trip?" Clint and Natasha said together.

Tony held up his hands. "Now before you say no, just think about it. It would be a fun trip, and I bet Point Break here has never been camping before; so it would be a good chance for us to show him what it's all about. Cause, I mean, we've all been camping before, right?" Silence. "Guys? We've all been camping before, right?"

"I have," Bruce spoke up.

"I have, too," said Pepper.

Tony looked toward Steve. "Cap?"

"Not unless you count sleeping on the ground and in the trenches during the war."

"How about you, Clint?"

Clint shrugged. "Not many opportunities to go camping when you're growing up in the circus."

"Natasha?"

"Well I've slept outside on missions before. I can put up with it, but I wouldn't call it 'fun'."

Tony shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe you guys have never gone camping!" he said. "Are Pepper, Bruce and I really the only ones? Okay. That's it. We're all going camping. Tonight."

"Wait a minute, Stark-" "Come on, Tony-" "Shouldn't we at least take a vote?"

"What! No, there is no vote, there's just camping! It's already decided." Tony looked at Pepper. "You're free, right?"

She hesitated and bit her lip. "I'm really sorry, Tony, I don't think I can come. I mean we have that customer coming in tomorrow-"

"It's okay, Honey, just let someone else deal with it."

"I really don't think I can do that, this is a big deal," Pepper said. "But I want you to go."

"Are you sure, I mean I can-"

"No, no, it's fine. Really. You deserve a break."

He kissed her on the nose. "Two days. You're an angel," he said. Pepper beamed.

Tony stood up and walked towards the elevators. "Everyone hear that? Happy is dropping us off at Anniston Park in thirty minutes for a two-day trip. You have ten minutes to pack, and no one – _no one_ – brings anything electronic." He turned around to face them and grinned. "We're going camping."


	2. Chapter 2: Anniston Park

**A big thank you to those who are following this story! I'll do my best to not let you down.**

 **Special thanks to those who reviewed chapter one. Your comments really encouraged me to keep working on this one.**

 **Couldn't help putting a touch of Clintasha in this one, but expect a good amount of Romanogers in chapter three, as per request. :)**

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Anniston Park was a privately-owned property about twenty minutes from New York City. Even though it was only a few miles away, you'd never know it when you were there. A few sections of the park were scrupulously well-tended by gardeners, but beyond these areas were about seventy acres of thick forest that was allowed to run wild. There was even a good-sized lake on the property.

Tony's limousine pulled up in front of the park; and the Avengers hopped out and unloaded their stuff.

Tony leaned against the open passenger-side window. "Happy, you're picking us up on Friday morning. We'll meet here at the entrance at ten a.m. Don't be late."

"You got it, boss," Happy said before driving away.

"Okay, guys, let's get this party started!" Tony shouldered his packs and led the charge into the woods.

Natasha flicked open her compass. "We're headed west right now, guys. So as long as we head east when we're ready to leave, we should be good."

"It's pretty obvious that we're going west when we're walking straight towards the sunset," Steve pointed out, grinning at her.

She smiled sweetly back at him. "Shut up, Steve."

"It's very quiet," Thor remarked. "Are there no other humans camping here tonight?"

"Well, it's a privately-owned park," Tony explained. "It's not really meant for camping at all, but I pulled some strings."

"When are we setting up camp?" Bruce asked, coming up beside Tony.

"Well, I want to be really deep in the woods, like way far back from the road; so I thought we could set up when it gets dark. So we'll probably keep walking for…" Tony glanced at his watch. "About forty-five minutes."

From behind him, Natasha said, "Tony, that watch uses batteries. I think it counts as an electronic."

"Yeah, you're right." He took it off and threw it over his shoulder without bothering to look where it landed. It sailed through the air, narrowly missing Clint's head.

"So once it gets dark, everyone be on the lookout for a space big enough for six small tents," said Steve.

"Five," Clint corrected. "Nat and I are sharing."

She shoved against him with her shoulder. "Nice try, pretty boy."

As they walked on, chatting and laughing, the sun continued to move closer and closer to the horizon. At last, it disappeared completely, and the sky grew darker.

"Hey, Stark, maybe we should set up now," Bruce said at last. "Otherwise it'll be too dark to see to put our tents up."

"Yeah, you're right," Tony agreed. "See any good places?"

"How about right here?" said Steve, coming to a halt. The others stopped and looked around them. They were standing in the middle of a small clearing that had been created in part by a falling tree.

"It's tiny," Thor said after a moment's pause.

"Well, maybe… once we move this out of the way…" Steve lifted the fallen tree by the trunk and moved it to the edge of the clearing. Suddenly the space seemed much larger.

Tony looked around, a smile spreading across his face. "It's just right," he said. Then he dropped his belongings on the ground. "Everybody claim a spot and let's get these tents up!" The others followed his example and got to work.

Bruce and Tony got their tents up first, partly because they were the most mechanically-minded, but mainly because they had both done it before (even though it had been awhile). They high-fived each other, then looked to see how the others were getting along.

Steve was very carefully putting each piece in place, well on his way to having a sleep-ready tent. Clint and Natasha had not gotten started, but were sitting on the ground holding tent stakes and staring at the instruction manuals in bewilderment. Meanwhile, it looked like Thor was using his tent to make some high-tech origami.

Tony walked towards Natasha, grinning. "Need a hand there, Nat?"

She blinked. "No, that's okay, I'm… yes, yes I do."

Tony laughed and sat down next to her. "Here," he said, taking the tent stake from her.

Bruce looked back at Thor and gasped. "Thor, no!" he said, running over. He was just in time to stop Thor from pounding a tent stake into the earth with Mjolnir.

"Those hammers that you mortals use take too long," Thor sniffed, pointing to a normal hammer that he'd thrown a short distance away.

"They're safer, though. I'm not sure bringing your hammer was the best idea."

Thor bristled with fury. "You dare suggest-"

"Never mind, never mind, I take it back," Bruce said quickly. He went and picked up the hammer Thor had thrown away. "Here, let me do that part."

Steve finished his tent shortly afterwards and went to help Clint. Before long, all six tents were up.

"Good work, guys! We made good time," said Tony as the last hint of daylight slipped from the sky. "Now if we could just get a fire going…"

Steve gestured towards the fallen tree. "That would make great firewood. Did anyone bring-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Thor brought Mjolnir smashing down on the tree. There was an earsplitting _crack,_ and it appeared to explode. A second later, what had previously been a tree was reduced to short logs and slightly smoking chunks of timber.

There was a stunned silence. Then Steve grinned. "Well that's convenient," he said. "Clint, give me a hand with these."

Thor smiled triumphantly as Steve and Clint started collecting logs. "Now perhaps you see, Dr. Banner, why I never leave Mjolnir behind."

"Yeah, I see. That's great," Bruce said humbly.

Tony said, "Hey, Thor. If you're ever feeling generous, I have some jobs that your overgrown drumstick would be perfect for."

Thor laughed rather superiorly. "No common mortal can lift my hammer, Stark. Only he who is worthy to rule Asgard may wield it."

By that time, Steve and Clint had a good-sized pile of firewood in the middle of the clearing. "Now we just have to start the fire," said Clint, dusting off his hands.

Steve said, "We could use flint. That's where you use flat stones and strike them against each other to make sparks. Or there's another method where you take two sticks-" he broke off suddenly as Tony pulled a matchbox out of his pack, lit a match, and dropped it on the wood. Smoke began to rise from the fire as the flame grew bigger.

"What?" Tony made his eyes as wide and innocent as possible. "Matches aren't electronic." He smiled mischievously at Natasha.

She rolled her eyes, but failed to hide a smile as she sat down next to the growing fire.


	3. Chapter 3: Campfire

**Chapter Four is in the making. Thanks for the follows and please review! :)**

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"I hope you're hungry, cause I brought hot dogs," said Tony, opening his pack. "I didn't bring roasting sticks, though, so well have to do it the old-fashioned way and use stick sticks." He set the package of hot dogs near the fire and went to pick up a stick. Then he brought it back and skewered a hot dog with it. The others followed suit and soon, six hot dogs were roasting on stick over the fire.

"This is going to take a long time to cook," Natasha remarked ten minutes later.

Steve looked over. "You have to hold it a little closer than that," he said, amused.

She grimaced. "Well I already burnt three, so I'm trying to be careful with this one."

"Well you need to be a little closer or it's not even going to get warm," Steve grinned. "Here." He took her hand and carefully guided the stick nearer to the flames.

Just then, Clint's twig snapped and his hot dog landed in the fire. He smacked his forehead with his palm. "I think that's the fifth one I've dropped," he groaned.

"Just get a thicker stick, man. That one wouldn't hold a butterfly," said Tony, who was just starting on his third perfectly-cooked hot dog.

Clint sighed and tossed his stick into the fire. Then he got up and went to find a different one.

"I must say, you mortals may be weak and small, but your food is really remarkable," said Thor, eating a hot dog he'd burnt on purpose. "I must try to make these "hot dogs" catch on in Asgard."

Clint returned with a new stick and sat down next to Natasha. At that moment, her hot dog caught fire. She gasped and jerked it back, then blew out the flame.

"Bad luck, Tasha," Clint chuckled, stabbing a hot dog with his new stick.

She turned to Steve. "See what I mean?" Then she sighed and stood up. "Here's another one for you, burnt to perfection," she said dryly, walking around the fire and passing the hot dog to Thor.

"Do you know how many he's had?" Steve asked quietly when she sat back down.

She frowned. "No. I've given him four now, but I don't know how many he burnt for himself."

Steve smiled. "I'll do yours for you," he said, standing up.

"Thanks, Steve."

"Not a problem." Steve picked up the stick on which he'd perfectly browned two hot dogs for himself earlier. "Want me to do one for you, too, Barton?"

"No, thanks," said Clint, staring intently at his hot dog. "I have a good feeling about this one."

"That's what he said the last five times," Natasha whispered to Steve as he sat back down.

Three hot dogs later, Clint finally had success. Then Tony got out a bag of marshmallows, and they started toasting them to make s'mores.

"I was doing so good before. I guess roasting marshmallows is not my thing," said Steve as his second marshmallow caught fire.

"Toasting," Clint corrected him superiorly. He'd had surprising success with marshmallows – probably because they were too light to break his stick.

"There's no difference," said Steve.

"Yeah there is. You roast hot dogs, you toast marshmallows."

"Nuance," Natasha scoffed as her marshmallow melted right off her stick. "Cooking over an open fire is apparently not my strong point either."

"Try holding your stick down near the embers instead of above the flames," suggested Bruce, who hadn't burnt a single thing all night.

"But if you should burn any, bring them to me," said Thor, whose marshmallows were as black as his hot dogs had been.

"Guys, guys, guys, let's tell scary stories," Tony said eagerly, pulling his fourth golden-brown marshmallow off his stick. "It's a tradition that everyone does around campfires."

 _"Why?"_ asked Steve, bemused.

"I dunno, creepiness factor? It can be true or made up as long as it's scary."

"Clint and I had some pretty freaky things happen to us in Budapest," Natasha said, grinning meaningfully at Clint.

He laughed nervously. "Which we will be glad to share – at a later date – maybe."

Natasha removed her perfectly-browned marshmallow from the fire. "Ohh, Bruce, you missed your calling as a marshmallow-toasting consultant," she said. "Everyone look! This is the first thing I haven't burned all night!"

"Let's stop with the boasting about roasting and toasting and get to the ghosting," Tony said. The others looked at him blankly, trying to work out what he'd said. He looked round at them expectantly. "What… no laughs? Okay."

For the next hour or two, they all took turns telling stories. Each person had a different style. Steve was surprisingly good at making his stories scary. Tony was pretty good, but his had so many funny parts that it kind of cancelled out the scariness. Thor's were adventurous and action-packed but not too scary. Natasha's were creepy and incredibly gory. Bruce's weren't scary at all.

But Clint ended up being the one whose stories were the creepiest. It was partly his way of telling them. He would talk in a very low, quiet voice, then suddenly shout on scary parts to make them all jump.

After finishing his last story, Clint burst out laughing. "Okay, but Nat's face on the part with the ghost of the crippled child!" he said, gasping for air.

Natasha shuddered and glanced nervously over her shoulder into the shadowy forest. "Stop it, Clint! Anyway I wasn't _that_ scared."

"Really? So you cut off the blood circulation to my arm for a different reason?" Steve teased her. Clint burst into renewed gales of laughter.

Bruce chuckled and stood up from where he'd been sitting on the stump of the fallen tree. "Well, I'm off to bed now," he said.

"We're all going to sleep really well after Clint's soothing bedtime story." Steve grinned ironically.

"Yeah, sweet dreams, everyone," Tony put in, standing.

"Umm, Clint? I know I said I _wasn't_ sharing a tent…" Natasha joked.

Before long, they were all fast asleep in their tents, the sound of Thor's snoring filling the camp. Day One had gone well; but if any of the Avengers thought their good luck would last, they were sadly mistaken.


	4. Chapter 4: Hiking

**Thanks so much for the follows! Thanks for the reviews, too - keep them coming! :)**

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Steve was the first to wake up the next morning. He awoke to the sound of birds singing loudly. The sound was shrill, but distant. Probably the birds had been scared from the area by Thor's snoring.

Steve got dressed and came out of his tent. The sky was the pale whitish gray that precedes dawn. The fire had burned down almost completely; only a few embers remained. He added more firewood and some kindling; then he got a stick and stirred the embers, trying to bring the fire back to life.

A few minutes later, Natasha came out of her tent. "Gosh, it's so cold," she complained, crossing her arms and hunching her shoulders. She went and stood next to the fire, so close she was practically standing in it.

"There's like no heat coming from that," she concluded a minute later.

"Not yet," Steve agreed with a half-smile.

"Get one of Tony's matches," she suggested, bouncing on her toes to try and get warm.

"Hold on," said Steve. He knelt down and blew on the embers. A few sparks jumped to life. Quickly he put more twigs on them, then blew again. The twigs caught fire.

Clint came out of his tent and walked over to the fire. "Cold, Nat?" he asked when he saw her posture.

"Freezing!" she replied. Her teeth were chattering.

"It's not that bad," he said in amusement.

"Are you kidding? It's practically frigid," she returned.

Steve and Clint knew better than to laugh outright at Natasha (Clint had nearly pushed her to the limit the night before), but they both hid smiles. In reality, it was probably in the forty to fifty degree range, Fahrenheit.

One of the bigger logs caught fire. Steve stood up and dusted off his hands. "Shouldn't be long now," he said before going into his tent. He emerged a few seconds later with his jacket. He came up behind Natasha and draped it around her shoulders.

"Better?" he asked, rubbing his hands quickly up and down her arms to warm her up.

"Thanks," she said, shivering.

The sun was already up when Bruce made his appearance, followed shortly afterward by Tony. Thor's rumbling snores showed no signs of letting up.

"Did everyone sleep okay?" Tony asked as he passed out water bottles. The responses ranged from "Haven't slept better in years" to "I may have caught a wink or two."

"I slept pretty well, myself," Tony announced.

"Sounds like Thor feels the same way," Bruce commented.

Tony hesitated. "On a scale of one to ten, how mad do you think he would be if we ate without him?"

"Eleven," Clint and Natasha said together.

"We really have to get him up somehow," said Steve about half an hour later. A few of them had gone over to Thor's tent and shouted already, but to no avail.

"Why the sudden hurry?" asked Tony.

Steve glanced swiftly at Bruce. "He gets angry when he's hungry," he said quietly.

Instantly, Tony turned and charged towards Thor's tent. "Thor!" he shouted, going inside.

Shortly afterward, he returned with a sleepy, rather cross-looking Thor in tow.

"Did you sleep well, Thor?" Steve inquired.

"Hardly," Thor responded haughtily. "I was awake all night, actually."

Tony opened his pack and handed out granola bars, doughnuts, oranges, and bananas.

"How much food do you have in there anyway?" Bruce asked.

Tony shrugged. "Enough to sustain six active adults for two days."

"If you could call Steve active," Clint quipped.

"If you could call Clint an adult," Steve retorted.

As they ate, Tony said, "So! Today… I was thinking an all-day hike."

"My legs hurt already," said Clint.

Tony ignored him. "When we get done eating, we're gonna leave. We'll have lunch away from camp, and head back in the afternoon. The goal is to get back to camp before it gets too dark and we get attacked by the ghosts of crippled children. Sound good?"

The others agreed.

They finally finished breakfast (which took a while because Thor kept getting more doughnuts). Then they set out on their hike with Tony in the lead.

"K, guys, we're going west again," Natasha announced, looking at her compass. Tony turned right. "North," she added.

"So who's been enjoying this camping trip so far?" asked Tony.

"I have," Steve spoke up. "It's actually been really fun."

"Don't sound so surprised," said Tony, feigning hurt. ("Northwest," said Natasha.) "You didn't doubt you'd enjoy it, did you?"

"I didn't _doubt_ it," Steve began unconvincingly. ("Southwest," said Natasha.) "I mean, I wasn't sure – I mean… anyway, I'm having fun."

"So am I," Bruce agreed. ("South.") "It's reminding me of all the camping trips I went on as a kid… the hot dogs and marshmallows and sleeping on the ground and all."

"Yeah, sleeping on the ground is different," said Clint. ("West.") "Okay, Nat, we get it. It wasn't too bad, it's just hard to get used to. The storytelling was kind of a highlight, too." ("Southwest.") "Nat, we get it!"

"How about you, Thor?" Tony asked. "Enjoying your first camping trip so far?"

"Well, it is a strange idea for recreation," said Thor. ("West." "Natasha!") "However, yes, I am enjoying it. The food is particularly satisfying."

"Southwest." "Natasha, put away the compass." "I'm not using the compass, I can figure it out without the compass," she said.

"Well, stop figuring it out," Clint suggested.

"I just hope the weather holds up," remarked Steve, squinting up at the sky.

"Relax, it'll be fine," said Tony unconcernedly.

"Southeast."

"Nat, cut it out!"

It was only slightly annoying at first, but after five minutes or so, the others started begging Natasha to stop updating them on their direction.

"Hey, I'm just trying to make sure we don't get lost," Natasha said, grinning. Clint privately thought that she was punishing him for laughing at her the night before. He kept this opinion to himself, however; and instead remarked that he'd rather get lost.

"Try walking in the same direction for a while," Steve suggested to Tony.

But Tony had other ideas. Instead, he led the group on a crazy, winding path in an attempt to confuse Natasha."

"North-Northeast-East-North-West-North-Northwest-West-North-East-Northeast-East-South-Southeast-Southwest-South-East-North…"

Somehow, even without the compass, he was unable to confuse her. At last he stopped, gasping for air.

"Okay," he panted. "Whoever leads next, figure out some way to confuse her. I don't care, do whatever it takes."

Natasha raised her eyebrows, grinning. "Oh? In that case, I think I'll lead next."

The others groaned.

However, letting Natasha lead turned out to be a solution in itself, as she apparently didn't feel the need to inform them of their direction each time it changed when she was leading. But there was a different problem with the lead change. Whenever the ground was slanted even a bit, Natasha always led them uphill. This was okay for a while, but soon their legs began to ache. Another odd quirk she had was, whenever she happened upon a rocky outcrop or a steep drop-off, she always took it upon herself to climb it rather than just go around it.

"C'mon, give us a break, Tash," Tony puffed after half an hour.

"No," she said determinedly. "This is good for strength and stamina."

"And making enemies," Steve observed.

After she'd been leading for an hour, Natasha was finally persuaded to take a break. The six of them stood in the woods, panting hard and dripping in sweat.

"Please," Clint panted, "can we have someone who will go easy on us next?"

"I suggest Dr. Banner," Thor said quickly.

So after a substantial break, Bruce led them. He was mercifully easy on them, and led them downhill whenever he saw the chance. Another upside was that Natasha forgot about the direction-reminding thing after her turn was up. The others neglected to mention it to her.


	5. Chapter 5: Hiccups

**Sorry this one is so short!**

 **Thanks for the follows/reviews - it really means a lot.**

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"I think I hear a rushing water," said Thor after twenty minutes or so. They all stopped and listened. Sure enough, from ahead of them came the faint gurgle of water.

"Maybe it's a creek that flows into the lake," said Tony.

"Guys," said Clint.

"Maybe it is the lake," Steve suggested.

"If it was the lake, it'd be big enough to see from here," Bruce pointed out.

"Guys," Clint repeated.

"What?" they looked at him.

"I… just stepped in a nest," he said tightly. "I think it's like a yellow jacket nest or a hornet nest…"

The others backed away from him quickly. "Where are they?" asked Steve.

"Right now I'm blocking their exit. As soon as I step off their nest…" Clint's voice trailed off.

There was a brief silence. Then Tony said, "Okay, we run for the creek in three… two… one…"

The others got a head start, but that didn't stop them from getting stung as they raced towards the creek. It was only about fifty yards away, but it seemed much further. At last, they reached the creek, and all six of them jumped in without hesitation.

After a while they resurfaced, gasping for air. The insects were gone.

"Thanks, Clint, I was just craving some exercise," said Tony sarcastically.

"Sorry," Clint mumbled.

"Sorry? For what? I was _dying_ for a bath!" Natasha snarled.

"Cut him some slack. He got the worst of it," said Steve. This was true. Clint's face was red and swollen from stings, and his arms also showed multiple welts.

"He deserves it," said Natasha. But she sounded less angry.

Bruce stopped at the bank of the creek. "Mud is a good natural remedy for bee and yellow jacket stings," he said. He picked up a handful of mud and began slathering it on his arms. The others joined him. Clint was luckily the only one who got stung on the face, but everyone had stings on their arms, and some of them rolled up their pant legs to put mud on the stings on their legs.

They had a contest to see who had the most stings. Clint won.

"I have twenty-seven stings," he said. "Three on my face, two on my neck, eleven on my legs, and ten on my arms."

"That's twenty-six," Natasha informed him after some speedy addition. "What about the last one?"

Clint appeared not to have heard her.

They were just finishing up when Thor let out a cry of alarm. They looked over and saw that he was sinking rapidly into the earth. He was already in up to his knees.

"Quicksand," breathed Steve, horrified. "Everyone, get back on the grass! Tony, I need you to help me."

Tony and Steve walked swiftly but carefully over to Thor and stood on either side of him. Then they each gripped one of his arms and pulled. Thor stopped sinking, but he didn't move upwards either.

"On three," Steve panted. "One—two—three!" He and Tony pulled with all their might. Thor was heavy and the quicksand was strong, but no one was very surprised when Thor was lifted out of the ground with a loud sucking noise. This was Captain America, after all.

The three men joined the others on the grass. Thor was covered in mud from the waist down.

"Moral of the story? Stay away from the water," said Tony.

"Nat, hold still, you have mud on your face," said Clint. He reached up and carefully smeared some mud on her nose, then ran away laughing.

"Clint Barton, you liar!" she shouted after him.

"I cannot but admire his bravery," Thor commented.

"Stupidity, more like," Steve countered.

Bruce said, "Well that was intense. Anyone think we should take a lunch break?"

For lunch, Tony had brought trail mix, apples, and water. They ate in the grass near the creek.

As they ate, Steve said, "So… does anyone want to change their answer about whether or not they're enjoying the trip so far?"

"Oh, shut it, Steve," said Tony. "What's a few bee stings and some mud?"

"Twenty-seven yellow jacket stings," Clint corrected him. "And quicksand isn't mud, it's…" his voice trailed off in confusion.

"A colloid hydrogel resulting from the precise integration of specific natural components," Bruce supplied.

"Yeah!" agreed Clint enthusiastically, even though he had no idea what Bruce was talking about.

"Yeah, I know," said Tony truthfully. "But I'm just saying we shouldn't let a couple hiccups spoil the entire trip."

"A couple hiccups? What, you mean like Thor almost dying?" said Clint.

"Relax, Worrywart, we had it under control," said Tony. "Besides, what else could go wrong?"


	6. Chapter 6: Crisis

When they finished eating, Clint asked if he could lead, probably wanting to redeem himself after the trouble he'd caused. The others agreed, somewhat hesitantly.

Clint led them alongside the creek for a long time, taking care to stay a good distance from the water's edge in case of quicksand. After a while, he stopped at a point where the creek was fairly narrow.

"I have a challenge for you all," Clint said brightly. He backed up and got a running start, then jumped across the creek. He landed hard on the opposite bank. "Try it," he said, grinning and beckoning to the others.

Bruce jumped across next, then Natasha. She lost her balance slightly when she landed, and grabbed hold of Clint to steady herself.

"I didn't drop any of my knives, did I?" she asked anxiously. She ran her hand along various spots that could be used as unlikely knife hiding places; her sleeves, her belt, the lining of her boots, and so on, all the while murmuring, "One… two… three… four… five… six… seven." She straightened. "Nope! All here."

"Did you say seven?" asked Bruce.

She misinterpreted his surprise. "I know, I know. I just thought I should pack lightly."

Not for the first time, Bruce made a mental note to stay on Natasha's good side.

The others successfully crossed the creek and continued walking. Clint stopped leading them along the bank and instead led them away from the creek. A moment later, Clint stopped and gave Steve his turn leading.

Steve just found an animal trail and walked along it for a while. He knew it was getting late in the afternoon and they should turn back soon in order to get back to camp before dark. So he took a very short turn, then said Thor could lead.

Thor found a raccoon and followed it until he lost track of it. Then he saw a squirrel and followed it until it ran up a tree. Thor approached the tree and stood looking up into the branches.

Tony said, "Umm… Rule Number One about hiking? Climbing doesn't count as hiking."

"Tell Natasha that," Clint muttered, thinking of the rock climbing. Natasha slugged him in the arm.

Bruce said, "It's starting to get late. Think we should head back?"

"We probably better," said Tony. "Nat?"

She looked up from where she'd been chatting with Steve. "What?"

"You wanna tell us which way is back?"

"Sure." She reached into her pocket, then frowned. She checked her other pockets. "I can't find my compass."

"What? You had it before," said Tony.

"I know…" she froze. "Wait… oh." She pressed her palm against her forehead.

"What is it?" Steve asked quickly.

"I know what happened. I must have lost it during the pool party."

Clint looked ashamed.

"But that's okay," Natasha said, brightening. "We'll just use one of your guys'."

The guys developed a sudden interest in the ground.

"What?" Natasha looked from one to the next. "Oh, no. Don't tell me. This is a hiking trip and none of you brought a compass? _None_ of you?"

She received no reply. Natasha crossed her arms and muttered something that sounded like "men."

"Well, I'm open to suggestions," she said. "It's like impossible to get a sense of direction out here."

"We could try to find the animal trail Steve was on," Bruce offered.

Natasha pursed her lips. "Not bad, except Thor was following that raccoon for a long time. And it wasn't exactly leading us in a straight line, either. Anyone else?" They were all silent.

"So basically," said Natasha, "we're lost."

"I wouldn't say lost," Tony began.

"What would you say then? Unable to find our way? Clueless about our location?" asked Natasha. "Anyone know the way back? No? We're lost."

This time no one bothered to argue with her.

Natasha sat down cross-legged on the ground. "It's my fault, I'm sorry. I should've kept saying what direction we were going."

At this point, the others jumped in and quickly reassured her that they didn't mind that she'd stopped and didn't blame her at all.

"Guys, this isn't helping anything. We have a better chance of finding the way back if we just keep walking," said Tony.

"No, let's wait," Steve disagreed. "Once the sun sets, we'll know which way is which again."

They all started arguing. Some of them sided with Tony, some of them sided with Steve. They were so engrossed in their dispute that none of them noticed the dark clouds that were claiming the sky.

Not until there was a rumble of distant thunder. Instantly they all stopped talking and looked up.

After a moment, Clint said, "Don't suppose there's anything you can do about that, Thunder God."

"I have no power over Midgardian weather, Mortal," said Thor.

Tony said, "Guys, we have got to get moving."

"What's the point, Tony?" said Steve. "We'd probably just get more and more lost. And even if we could find the way, what are the chances of finding a good place to cross the creek again? Especially in the dark."

They were all silent for a moment. Clint looked ashamed again.

Tony sat down on the ground and put his head in his hands. The others could tell he felt responsible for their plight.

Optimistically, Clint said, "Well, it's too cloudy to see the sun now, but tomorrow morning when it comes up, all we have to do is follow it back to the camp before it gets too high in the sky to tell which way is which again."

"Yeah, don't worry about it, Tony," said Steve. "We're gonna be fine."

"Fine?" Tony repeated. "Here we are, completely exposed in the middle of nowhere, with a potentially dangerous storm on the way."

"Maybe it'll just be a sprinkle," Bruce suggested hopefully.

Unfortunately, his words proved to be wrong. In only a few minutes, all six of them were completely drenched in a soaking downpour, complete with thunder and lightning. The Avengers wanted to start a fire, but knew there was no chance of finding dry wood anywhere.

There was no food left over from lunch, so eventually, they took off their packs and just sat. Some of them sat with their backs against trees, others curled up in balls on the ground. Natasha huddled against Steve for body warmth. Eventually, exhaustion from the day's vigorous activities set in and one by one, they began to drop off to sleep; much earlier than they would have on an ordinary day. Unsurprisingly, Bruce and Thor were the first to drop off. Steve and Natasha soon followed. But Clint and Tony stayed awake late into the night, watching the storm until, at last, they, too, dropped off to sleep.

Not long after Clint and Tony fell asleep, Thor awoke suddenly in the night. He couldn't think what could have woken him. At first he thought maybe an exceptionally loud clap of thunder, but this didn't seem likely as he'd been sleeping through the storm all night. He sat up slightly and strained his eyes, trying to see through the dark. He had a strange sense that there was a new presence among them.

Suddenly, there was a huge flash of lightning and the space was brightly illuminated. The light revealed Tony sitting against a tree with his head lolling to the side; Clint sleeping while sitting bolt upright; Steve and Natasha tangled up together on the ground; and Bruce spread-eagled facedown, all of them fast asleep. But Thor's attention was not on any of them, but rather was riveted on the silhouette of a man who stood a short distance away. The night was only lit for a second, then it went back to completely dark.

Thor scrambled to his feet and ran to the spot where he'd seen the figure. He was sure he'd recognized the person. There was another, smaller flash of lightning. The person had vanished.

Exhaustion settled over Thor, as well as dizziness because of how quickly he'd stood up. Confused, he went back to where he'd been and laid down on the wet ground. Shortly afterward, he went back to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7: Dominoes

**Ear-splitting shoutout to MarvelLuver, who provided the inspiration for this chapter. You are a genius. That is all.**

* * *

When Steve awoke the next morning, he found himself soaking wet and rather sore from sleeping on the ground. He lay still for a moment with his eyes closed, relaxing. Then he became aware of someone walking around nearby. He opened his eyes and lifted his head.

Natasha was walking around the edge of the temporary campsite, kicking around in the brush and the tall grass.

"What's up, Nat?" Steve croaked.

She didn't answer right away. When she finally spoke, her voice trembled slightly with suppressed fury.

"Apparently," she said "someone came in the night and took our stuff."

"All of it?" asked Steve in disbelief.

"All of it."

Steve closed his eyes and groaned, dropping his head again.

"Well, except for Thor's pack for whatever reason." There was a thump as Natasha kicked the pack angrily and her foot collided with its contents. "Ouch."

"So, basically, there go all our supplies. Including the rest of the water," said Steve with his eyes still closed.

"Basically," Natasha confirmed. She sighed. "I had some important stuff in my pack. And now some creep has got ahold of it!"

"My apologies. Was that your luggage?" said a familiar voice.

Steve's eyes flew opened and he sat bolt upright. At the same time, Natasha whirled around and drew her gun on the speaker.

"You!" she said indignantly.

"Me," said Loki Laufeyson, his eyes glinting. "And in the future, Miss Romanova, I would prefer it if you did not refer to me as a 'creep.'"

"You know what? You're right," Natasha said, taking a step forward aggressively. "'Creep' is too nice for you. I should've said—"

"Natasha," Steve said warningly. Natasha was impressively fluent in profanity; and the only thing worse than Loki was Angry Loki.

"How did you get here?" Natasha demanded.

Loki's lips curled into a mocking smile. "My methods of traveling are no one's business but my own," he replied arrogantly.

Natasha took another step forward. "Give us our stuff back," she commanded.

Loki continued to smile mockingly. "And why would I choose to do as you request?"

Quick as a flash, Natasha lunged at him. Steve leapt to his feet, but just what Natasha planned to do he never discovered. With a cry of frustration, Natasha crashed to the ground as Loki dematerialized out from under her.

"You were saying?" A different Loki emerged from behind a nearby tree. They had been dealing with one of his clones. And this Loki was holding Natasha's pack.

With another angry exclamation, Natasha ran towards Loki. He turned and ran into the woods with Natasha close behind.

"Natasha, wait!" Steve started to run after her, but he hesitated and glanced at the others. Somehow, they had managed to stay asleep throughout the exchange. Maybe it was not so surprising considering their intense exercise the day before. Steve briefly considered waking them and explaining the situation. But then he glanced back into the woods again. He caught the bright red flash of Natasha's hair just as it whipped out of sight. Steve sighed, took one last glance at his sleeping teammates, then took off running after Natasha and Loki.

Steve was a fast runner, but so was Natasha, especially when fueled by anger, apparently. Steve followed her for a long time without catching up. Sometimes he lost sight of her, and all he had to go on was an occasional flash of red ahead of him. Loki was leading them on a winding, twisting path through the trees; further and further away from their sleeping comrades.

Finally, Steve saw Natasha starting to slow down ahead of him. She was glancing quickly in all directions. "Nat, wait," he called as he approached her. She came to a complete stop and turned around, waiting until he caught up with her.

"I can't see him anymore," said Natasha "He was here just a second ago, and then I lost track of him again."

"Forget it, Nat," said Steve. "We have to get back to the others and get moving before the sun gets too high."

Natasha didn't appear to be listening. "He was here just a second ago," she repeated. Then she pointed. "I think he may have gone that way." She started to run in the direction she had indicated, but Steve grabbed her arm, halting her. She turned to face him.

"Just let it go, Natasha," Steve said. "We don't need the supplies anymore if we can get back to camp. Besides, that may not even have been the real Loki. Who knows how many clones he has running around in these woods, trying to confuse us."

"I didn't even think of that." Natasha considered for a moment, then nodded slowly. "You're right, I shouldn't have chased him. I guess I just lost my head," she said. "We need to get back."

"Right," Steve agreed. They turned around and stared into the endless rows of trees.

Steve cleared his throat. "Umm… which way is back?"

"They took our stuff and went off by themselves!" said Tony in amazement.

Bruce had woken up and discovered Steve and Natasha's absence, so he'd awakened the others and told them.

Clint frowned. "No, they wouldn't do that. Something must have happened."

"Yeah, something like, they took our stuff and went off by themselves," Tony said.

"They left Thor's pack," Bruce observed. "Do you have any idea why, Thor?"

They looked at Thor. He was staring off into space, looking shocked.

"I have just remembered," he said. "My brother Loki was here among us last night!"

"Loki?" said Bruce in surprise. "But I thought he was in Asgard."

"He was," said Thor. "How he came here, I know not. But I am certain I saw him during the night."

"Well, that's not good," said Clint. "Usually when Loki's around, that's a bad sign."

Suddenly, without any kind of warning, Tony made a strangled choking noise and just collapsed on the ground.

"Tony? Tony!" Bruce ran to him and flipped him onto his back. His face was pale and sweaty, and his breathing was ragged. He tried to speak, but all that came out was a gasping noise. He clutched his chest. The others realized that the round, blue-white light that came from the arc reactor in his chest was flickering slightly.

"We have to get him to a hospital," Bruce said firmly. He went behind Tony's head and lifted him by the shoulders.

"But Steve and Nat," said Clint.

"There's no time, Clint! He's dying! Hurry, before the sun gets too high!"

Clint pulled a knife off his belt and stabbed it into the ground. Then, with one last glance over his shoulder, he lifted Tony's legs and they carried him east, towards the rising sun.


	8. Chapter 8: Progress

"Don't suppose we have anything red we could use to make a signal flag or something," Natasha said as she and Steve walked through the forest. They had eventually just picked a way that seemed right and started walking, hoping against hope that they would meet up with the others.

"Well, there's your hair," Steve offered. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Or your temper," he added, even though he knew he was treading on delicate ground.

Natasha smiled dangerously. "Or there's always your shirt, Steve. Which isn't red right now, but we can change that."

Just then, she tripped slightly. Frowning, she looked down. Then she bent over and pulled something out of the ground.

It was a knife; short with a silver handle. It was very clean and looked like it had not been there for long.

"It's Clint's," Natasha told Steve.

"Then they must have been here recently," said Steve, looking around for signs of them. Then he added, "Do you think he dropped it?"

"No," said Natasha. "There's no way it could have stuck straight up like that if he just dropped it. The whole blade was buried." She hesitated. "I could be wrong, but… I think… he meant it for us."

"Wait… is this where we slept last night?" Steve asked suddenly. They both looked around the small area. Sure enough, some large sections of the grass were smashed down from having six adults lay there for several hours.

"Maybe they realized we were gone and went to look for us," Steve suggested.

Natasha frowned. "Maybe," she said. "It just seems like one of them would have stayed here in case we got back."

"What do you think, then?" Steve asked her.

Natasha studied the knife in her hands, as though it could somehow give her the answer. "I think they had to leave unexpectedly," she said. "This was supposed to be a signal that they would come back for us."

Steve was about to remark that she was reading a lot just from a metal knife stuck in the ground; but then he remembered that this was Clint they were talking about; also known as the guy who once told Natasha a knock-knock joke just by coughing a certain way. Steve decided to trust Natasha on this one.

"They can't have been gone long; we need to look for them," said Natasha. She lifted her head. "I just hope everything's okay."

Thor, Clint, and Bruce, bearing Tony, were struggling through the woods towards what they hoped was east. The sun was getting higher in the sky so the directions were starting to seem more vague; and while they were pretty sure they were going east, they couldn't be positive.

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" puffed Clint. "It seems like we should've hit the creek by now."

"I think so," said Bruce shortly. All of them were trying to ignore the question of how they were going to get Tony across the creek, assuming they reached it in the first place.

They moved forward in silence for a little while; Bruce trying to support Tony's head, Clint lost in thought, and Thor staying on the lookout for any signs of Steve and Nat. It wasn't too long before they heard the welcoming sound of rushing water, and the creek came into view. They hastened towards it.

When they reached it, they were met by a depressing sight. The torrential rain from the previous night had more than doubled the creek in size, and now it was looking very unlikely that they could find a place narrow enough to jump across at all, even without Tony in his current condition. Swimming across was definitely not an option either, as they would undoubtedly have been pulled away by the strong current.

"Now what do we do?" Bruce shouted over the roar of the now-enormous creek. "There's no way across. He's going to die!"

Bruce was getting very worked up – a little too worked up for Clint and Thor's liking. Clint may have been imagining it, but he thought Bruce looked slightly greenish. Clint and Thor quickly exchanged glances.

"Hey, calm down, Bruce, it's okay," said Clint. "We'll think of something."

"Something like what?" Bruce yelled back.

None of them spoke for a minute as they wracked their brains to think of an answer. Bruce was definitely looking greenish now. He looked up at the sky.

"We're too late!" he roared. "You can't tell where east is anymore! He's gonna die!"

Thor and Clint looked up and saw, with a sinking feeling, that he was right. The sun was high in the sky; and even if they could cross the creek, they now had no way of finding their way to the road, or even to the campsite. Tony had passed out; his breathing was shallow, and his arc reactor was now dark more often than it was bright.

Suddenly, Thor shouted, "I know what we can do!" He opened up his pack, the only one that Loki had left behind, and pulled out Mjolnir. He grabbed hold of Tony, who was laying on the ground. Then he began to spin Mjolnir, faster and faster, creating a strong breeze, and then he rose from the ground. He shot quickly up into the sky and crossed the creek easily, then continued on soaring, clutching Tony tightly.

Relief flooded through Clint. Thor didn't need to know which way was east anymore; he could just fly up high enough to see the road and go there. Tony would be safe.

As Thor and Tony disappeared from sight, Clint's thoughts returned to his current situation: still stuck with Bruce on the wrong side of the creek.

"So…" he said to a much-calmer Bruce. "Now what?"


	9. Chapter 9: Trees

"You think they went east?" Natasha asked Steve as they walked through the woods.

"Probably," said Steve. He squinted up at the sky. "I can't tell which way it is anymore. You?"

Natasha stopped walking, closed her eyes, and slowly revolved on the spot, trying to get her bearings. Then she stopped and pointed straight ahead. She opened her eyes.

"I feel like that way's east," she said.

Steve was grinning at her. "Didn't you just say yesterday that it's impossible to get a sense of direction out here?" he asked.

She smirked. "Pretty sure my exact words were, 'It's _like_ impossible to get a sense of direction out here." Then she shrugged. "But, yeah, it was just a guess. I really don't know."

"I have an idea," said Steve after a moment. "I think I'm gonna climb a tree. I think we can get a better feel for where we are if we can see from higher up."

"Mmm, great idea," said Natasha, grinning. "Except for one thing."

"What?"

Natasha's grin grew broader. She patted Steve on the shoulder in mock sympathy.

"I'll be the one doing the climbing part, Old-timer."

"What!? No, Natasha, you can't rationalize like that; it's too—" Steve stopped. He'd been about to say "It's too dangerous," but this was Natasha he was dealing with. In her mind, "too dangerous" was never a valid excuse.

"Too what?" asked Natasha. "I'm lighter, so I can climb higher. It makes sense."

Steve hesitated. "You're okay with heights, right?"

She rolled her eyes and made a face at him that meant 'of-course-I'm-okay-with-heights-we-both-know-I'm-okay-with-heights-now-you'r-just-stalling.'

"K, good," said Steve. "Cause I was planning on going really high."

"Good, me too then. Bring it on," Natasha said lazily. She looked up into the leafy canopy above their heads. "Let's find a really tall one!" she said eagerly, all but skipping from tree to tree.

Steve couldn't help but smile in spite of his worries. Daredevil that she was, Natasha was having way too much fun with this.

Natasha stopped at the foot of a tree and looked up. "Okay, here's a good one," she said. Steve joined her beside the tree and looked up into it. It was a very old, thick tree; he guessed it might have been an oak. It was incredibly tall.

"Okay, let's do this," said Natasha.

The lowest branch of the tree was a few feet above Natasha's head. She jumped up and tried to grab it, but her fingers missed by inches. She tried again, this time backing up to take a short running start, but missed again. She bit her lip and looked at Steve.

"I could use a lift," she said with an ironic smile.

Right away, he was reminded of when she'd said the same thing to him while they were fighting Loki's army of invading Chitauri; and he'd boosted her up on his shield so she could reach one of the hover boards. It struck him how much more dangerous that had been than this was; but at the time, he'd only been slightly worried. Things were so different in the middle of a battle with all the adrenaline rushing through him.

"No shield this time," Steve commented, kneeling down next to the tree. He locked his fingers together and held them near the ground, palms facing upwards. He took one more glance at the maze of leafy branches above his head. Then he locked eyes with Natasha.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked, just as he had on that day that seemed so long ago. And she answered him the same way she had at the time:

"Yeah. It's gonna be fun."

The last time she'd said that, it had been hard for him to tell if she was joking or not. This time, he knew she meant it.

Natasha stepped into his hands and pushed off the ground with her other foot. At the same time, he launched her upward into the tree. She grabbed hold of the branch and swung herself easily onto it. Then she began to climb.

Steve watched her for a while, cupping his hands over his eyes to block out the sun. Eventually, he sat down with his back against the tree and relaxed. The only sounds were the snapping of twigs as Natasha climbed above his head and the occasional twitter of a bird.

At one point, Steve glanced up into the tree again. He could barely see Natasha anymore; she was easily thirty feet up. He closed his eyes.

Finally, the sounds of Natasha's climbing grew louder as she descended. Steve stood up and watched as she came nearer to the bottom of the tree. She reached the lowest branch and hung from it by her hands for a second. Steve compulsively took hold of her waist as she dropped to the ground.

Natasha had several bloody scratches on her face and arms from the tree; and she was slightly out of breath from the exertion.

"So how's it look up there?" Steve asked as he pulled a few leaves and twigs out of her hair.

"High," Natasha joked. "Two birds' nests and a beehive."

"In other words, nothing helpful," Steve concluded.

"I didn't say that," said Natasha. "You remember Stark mentioning a lake?"

"Yes?"

Natasha pointed off into the distance. "An hour or two in that direction should bring us there," she said.

"Don't see how that's gonna be much help. I mean, unless you were planning to take a break and go swimming," Steve remarked sarcastically.

Natasha made a noise of impatience and smacked Steve in the arm. "Think about it, Genius," she said. "Remember that creek where Barton made us play leapfrog?"

"Yes I do."

"Mhm, and remember Stark saying it was probably connected to the lake? Aha!" she said as understanding came over Steve's face. "Now you get it."

"Yeah, I get it," Steve continued to tease her. "You want to ride down the creek on a raft and _then_ go swimming in the lake."

Natasha suggested a new title for Steve to replace 'Captain America.' Steve just laughed.

"I get it, though," he said. "Find the lake and the creek that flows into it, then follow the creek till we find a good spot to cross. Great. All we have to do then is find a way back."

"But at least we'll be on the right side of the creek then," said Natasha. "Let's get moving."


	10. Chapter 10: Catastrophe

**Now I have a chapter called _Crisis_ and one called _Catastrophe!_ Translation: This trip is not going well.**

 **Thanks for all the reviews! :)**

* * *

"Wow, I'm getting really hungry," Natasha said nearly an hour later.

Steve agreed with her. Neither of them had eaten since lunch the day before; and while he'd been trying to ignore it for a while now, the pain in his stomach was starting to become unbearable.

"Hey, don't look at me," said Steve. "If I had any food, I'd give it to you."

"If you gave it to me, I'd eat it," Natasha said wistfully. "There's probably nothing edible out here, though."

"Yeah, probably just poisonous plants," Steve agreed. "And we should probably try to avoid those."

"Probably," Natasha agreed. "Still, if you happen to see any, let me know."

Steve laughed.

"I could really go for a cheeseburger right now," Natasha went on.

"Stop it," Steve groaned.

"Or a pizza," Natasha said reminiscently. "Heck, even escargots à la bourguignonne sounds good right now."

"I'll tell Tony you said so," Steve said, grinning.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Please don't. He'll never shut up about it for the rest of his life."

"He never shuts up anyway," Steve pointed out.

 _"Don't tell him!"_ Natasha said forcefully.

Steve pretended to think about it. "Maybe if you stop talking about food, I'll—" he broke off as Natasha suddenly gripped his arm, halting him.

"Natasha, what—"

Natasha silenced him by raising her hand to his lips. Her many years as a spy had sharpened her senses and she was sure she'd caught something that Steve couldn't – a slight disturbance in the air; a soft intake of breath; a silent shifting from behind them and a little to their left. She could feel a pair of watchful eyes boring into their backs. Her hand moved instinctively to her gun.

Normally, she would have reacted swiftly; but this time, her intuition told her to turn very slowly. Steve copied her movement.

On a rocky outcrop that jutted from the side of a steep rock wall, a pair of round, unblinking eyes glowed at them from under the shadow of a small group of trees. The hairs on the back of Natasha's neck stood on end. A wildcat.

A morbidly comical thought flashed unbidden through Natasha's mind: _All that time while we were discussing dinner, we were about to become dinner._

The wildcat jumped off the rock, and Natasha drew her gun and aimed between its eyes. It took one slow, calculated step in their direction; tail twitching slightly. Natasha pulled the trigger.

 _Click._ Nothing happened.

 _Click. Click. Click._

Adrenaline shot through Natasha and she gasped. Before she had managed to stay calm, thinking herself in control of the situation. Now she felt herself beginning to panic.

"Steve," she hissed, continuing to squeeze the useless trigger in desperation.

"Empty?" he asked her quietly.

"Yes." She glanced up at his face. His eyes were darting in all directions, sizing up their situation. Her thoughts were racing as well as she tried to conjure up a way out of their predicament.

The wildcat took another step towards them, its eyes fixed on Natasha. It was now less than ten feet away. It tensed up, preparing to pounce.

Suddenly, a jarring force collided with Natasha's shoulder and she was thrown several yards to the right. She landed hard on the ground facedown, the wind knocked out of her. As she lay there for a moment, gasping for air, she heard a bloodcurdling scream from behind her. She turned to look, just in time to see the wildcat bury its claws in Steve's shoulders and knock him to the ground. She found herself screaming Steve's name.

The wildcat opened its mouth wide and went for Steve's throat. His arm shot up and grasped the animal by the neck, stopping it from getting any closer. It yowled and tried to fight his superhuman grip, digging its claws into his chest. An ordinary man would have been killed within seconds. But Steve was not an ordinary man.

Still, he wasn't invincible. There wasn't much time. Natasha's hands scrambled through her pockets, searching vainly for ammunition. She realized with irritation that she had left it all in her pack, which Loki now had. Her hand closed over a knife in her pocket, and a new thought came to her. It was dangerous, but it was her only chance.

Natasha raised the knife in her right hand and positioned it carefully. She knew she would have to be very precise, as any miscalculation on her part could do great harm to Steve. She exhaled and tried to focus.

The wildcat's razor-sharp claws flashed towards Steve's face. The enormous paw was intercepted in midair and Steve applied intense pressure to it, forcing it backwards. The creature howled in pain and anger and reared its head to take a bite out of Steve. Seeing her chance, Natasha reacted instantly. She hurled the knife straight towards the animal's head. It whistled through the air and imbedded itself in the cat's skull with a loud crunch. Immediately, the wildcat collapsed onto Steve, dead.

"Steve!" Natasha ran to him and knelt down beside him, shoving the animal carcass off of him. "Oh my god, Steve, are you okay?"

"I think so," he said. He was out of breath, and sweat poured down his face. On his right cheek were four long, parallel cuts made by the monster's claws; and his shirt, too, was striped with blood. He started to get up, but Natasha pushed on his chest, forcing him to lie down again.

"Whoa, whoa, take it easy," she said nervously. "Do you think you broke anything?"

Steve carefully tested his arms and legs. "Don't think so," he said. "It's just my shoulder," he added wincing.

His right shoulder was soaked in blood.

Carefully, Natasha pulled the material of his shirt away from his shoulder to examine the wound. Several deep gashes, clearly made from the wildcat's teeth, were bleeding heavily.

"Where else does it hurt?" Natasha asked.

"Well, he scratched up my chest pretty bad, but other than that I think I'm good," said Steve.

Relief flooded through Natasha, replaced quickly by anger. She berated herself for not having thought more quickly and causing Steve to make a sacrifice for her safety.

"What the hell were you thinking, Rogers; stepping right into the line of fire like that? You practically signed your own death certificate!"

Steve closed his eyes. "Look, Nat," he said. "I didn't have a choice."

"Yes you did, you just chose to push me out of the way and get attacked yourself! I was armed, I could have dealt with it on my own!"

"There wasn't enough time," Steve said wearily. "I just didn't want you to get hurt."

"Well, look what happened to you!" Natasha snapped. They were both silent for a moment.

Some of her anger had vanished, however, when he stated his intention of keeping her safe. His actions seemed stupid and self-destructive on the surface, but once she examined his motives, she was forced to admit to herself that she would have behaved the same way had the wildcat targeted Steve. She sighed.

"Well, I guess you're one up on me, Rogers," she said. "I owe you."

After a moment, she added, "You wanna try getting up again?"

With Natasha's assistance, Steve got heavily to his feet. As Natasha brushed some mud off his clothing, he said, "Well, Nat, looks like you got your wish. My shirt is now red enough to use as a signal flag.

Natasha pressed her palm into her forehead. "Wow, Steve. Do me a favor and work on your timing." She went to the dead cat and pulled the knife out of its head. It was Clint's. She wiped it on the grass before returning it to her pocket. Then she went back to Steve and checked his shoulder wound again. "We're gonna have to step it up. That bite looks pretty gnarly, and we don't have anything to stop the blood flow. Those scratches could get infected, too. We need to get you to a hospital."

"Good idea. Tell me if you see one," Steve joked.

Natasha laughed and took his arm as they started off towards the lake again.

"One question for you, Steve. After you pushed me out of the way, I heard this really high-pitched scream. Just please tell me it was the cat and not you."

Steve groaned above her laughter as they continued walking forward into the unknown.


	11. Chapter 11: Reunion

Steve and Natasha arrived at the lake about forty-five minutes later. They could see the faint outline of trees on the opposite shoreline of the lake, but it stretched out as far as they could see to the right and left. They began following the shoreline, looking for the place where the creek met the lake.

It wasn't long before they found it.

"Wow," Natasha said simply as they gazed into the creek. It was much deeper and more agitated than it had been before when they crossed it.

"Still think we can find a place to cross?" Steve asked.

"We'll see," Natasha said. Her eyes followed the creek upstream. "I just hope—"

She broke off suddenly. Steve followed her gaze up the creek and caught sight of two figures near the bank of the creek, walking in their direction.

Natasha stared at them for a moment, then began walking towards them at a brisk pace. Steve followed.

"Hey, guys," Natasha said, coming to a stop in front of Clint and Bruce.

"Hey," Clint said, beaming at her. She tried to look as though she was only mildly pleased to see him.

Steve came up behind her. "Where are Thor and Tony?"

Clint looked at him. "Wow, what happened to you?"

"You first," said Steve.

Clint explained about Tony's arc reactor, and how Thor had taken him to the hospital. Steve and Natasha looked grave.

"So you have no idea what caused the reactor to malfunction?" asked Steve.

"No idea," Clint confirmed. At the same moment, Bruce said, "A few ideas." The others looked at him and he blushed. "Based on the circumstances," he said. "But that takes too long to explain. What have you two been up to?"

"Yeah," said Clint. He gestured towards Steve's injuries. "What'd you do that made Natasha mad?"

Natasha hurled a knife in his direction. Steve thought she was angry, but then he saw she was returning his knife to him. Clint caught the knife out of the air.

"Used that to extend our lifespan a little," said Natasha. "Let's see, what else – oh! I climbed a fifty-foot tree, Steve took on a wildcat barehanded, and we discussed ending it all by eating poisonous plants. So, all in all, pretty normal day for us."

Clint and Bruce just gaped at her.

"She is exaggerating," Steve said quickly.

"But you did fight a wildcat? That's how you got hurt?" said Bruce.

"Well I was trying to protect Natasha. I'm starting to wish I had just let the thing attack her, though. If you think the wildcat chewed on me pretty bad, you should have seen what she did to me when it was finished," Steve joked. "Anyway, after all that, we came down here to look for a place to cross the creek."

"That's what we've been doing," said Bruce. "We've covered several miles of the creek, but it's just too full from the storm last night."

Clint said, "Speaking of which, Thor swears he saw Loki hanging around in the woods last night during the storm. I don't know how he could have got here, but it seems like a bad thing."

"You think?" Natasha said dryly.

Clint looked at her. "What, did you guys run into him or something?"

"You could say that," Natasha said. "Ran after him, more like."

Steve said, "If you thought we took the packs with us, you've probably noticed by now that we don't have them."

"It crossed my mind, yeah," said Clint. "Where are they?"

"I took them," said a voice from the opposite side of the creek. They whirled around to look across the creek and saw Loki standing there, still holding Natasha's pack.

It took the joint efforts of Steve and Clint to restrain Natasha from jumping into the creek and swimming across; all the while shouting at Loki in Russian. Bruce didn't speak Russian, but he thought it was a safe bet that much of what she was saying, if translated, would have to be censored.

"You mortals are always getting yourselves into trouble," Loki said scornfully.

"Please help us, Loki," Bruce spoke up. "We need to get back to our camp."

"You no longer have a camp," Loki informed him. "I collected what little of it remained after the storm."

Natasha gave a muffled exclamation and renewed her efforts to escape Steve and Clint, but they held her tightly.

"Loki, please," Bruce continued. "You're our only chance. Look, Steve needs a doctor or he's going to bleed to death. Please help us."

Loki's eyes flashed. "You are pathetic, human, groveling before me and asking me for favors," he said. "Give me a reason why I should help you."

Bruce thought for a moment. "Thor helped Loki," he said at last.

Loki frowned. "What?"

"I would never have thought that you or Thor would deign to help humans," Bruce explained, "but when Tony got hurt, Thor flew him to a hospital. So I just hoped that you could find it in yourself to help us."

Loki was silent for a long time. The Avengers held their breath.

Loki opened up Natasha's pack and pulled out a long coil of rope. He tossed it across the creek, and Bruce caught it.

Loki pointed off into the distance. "That is the way to the road," he said. Then he turned and began to walk away.

"Loki!" Bruce called after him. Loki turned around.

"Thank you," Bruce said sincerely.

Something flickered behind Loki's eyes – empathy? Compassion? They couldn't sure. Then he turned again and vanished into the trees.

"Give me the rope," Natasha said. Steve and Clint checked to make sure Loki was out of sight before releasing her arms. Then Bruce passed her the rope.

She tied it around her waist and found a tree which had branches that stuck out over the creek. She climbed the tree and slid out onto one of the branches.

She removed the rope from her waist and fastened it tightly to the branch. Then, she slid back closer to the trunk again, held the end of the rope tightly, and jumped off the tree.

At first she headed towards the ground; then the rope lifted her and she swung out over the creek. When she was at the highest point in the rope's arc, she let go of the rope and sailed across the creek. She landed hard on the other side.

"Come on!" Natasha beckoned to the others to join her. "Let's get moving! We have a hospital to visit!"

The farmer who drove the four hitchhikers to the hospital that day did not recognize them. Well, he thought the nerdy-looking guy who sat in the passenger seat looked slightly familiar, but he couldn't be sure. They told him a crazy story about having been on a camping trip and one of the guys getting attacked by a wildcat, but he was very skeptical of this. About themselves they told almost nothing, leaving him to speculate about them: All of them looked very muscular; perhaps they were bodybuilders. The man who sat in the front with him seemed to be very smart. The woman was obviously the girlfriend of the guy who sat on her left. They all looked very hungry and tired; looked like they could use a break. Other than that, he couldn't tell much about them. It was none of his business, anyway. He dropped them in front of the hospital, refused their offers of payment, and drove home to tell his wife the story.

"So how long are you gonna have to stay in here?" Steve asked Tony.

After hitching a ride to the hospital with Clint, Bruce, and Natasha; Steve had gotten bandaged up and pronounced safe from infection; then he'd joined the other Avengers and Pepper in Tony's hospital room.

"One night," said Tony. "After that they're setting me loose."

"Did they find out what's wrong with you?" Clint asked.

Tony nodded. "Apparently the reaction was caused by protracted exposure to unelutriated dihydrogen oxide."

"Ohh," said Bruce understandingly. The others just stared blankly at him.

"Too much contact with unpurified water," Tony explained. "I mean I've definitely been in unpurified water since I got my reactor, but the relapse was caused by buildup of bacteria overtime. It was probably because I slept out in the rain last night."

"How are you gonna keep it from happening again?" Natasha wanted to know.

Tony repositioned himself in the hospital bed. "Actually, I've been giving that some thought," he said, "and I think the best thing to do would be to augment the density of the reactor's cornea."

"Yeah, that would work," Bruce agreed. "Did you think of occluding the interstices of the reactor with a deliquesced perduring constituent such as silicon dioxide?"

Tony looked thoughtful. "Ohh," he said. "No I didn't. I'll have to give that a try." In response to the others' looks of confusion, he said, "Basically, we're well on our way to having it figured out. Just give me and Bruce a couple days, and we'll have it all set for next time."

There was a stunned silence. Then Steve cleared his throat.

"Did" he faltered. "Did you just say next time?"

THE END

* * *

 **Be sure to review and tell me what you thought of this fanfic!**

 **Thanks again to MarvelLuver for the help! This story would have been a lot different without your creative influence.**

 **P.S. If you liked this fanfic, feel free to check out my next big one, "Happy Birthday, Bruce" in which the Avengers try to throw a surprise party for Bruce. :)**


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